January is a long month. The come down after Christmas gets me every year. New Year’s Eve triggers a few weeks of way too much self analysis and it’s all too easy to focus on the bad rather than the good. It’s cold, gloomy and miserable. There are no redeeming features. I don’t bother with resolutions because they’re just doomed to fail. I don’t attempt dry January for the same reason. The whole month is depressing. My plan every year is simply to get through as best I can.
I’ve been extra conscious of my low mood this year. I know I’ve not been easy to live with as I’m sure my long suffering husband will be only too eager to confirm. But I’ve also been aware of the things that have lifted my mood. And next January, when I’m feeling low, maybe a re-read of this post will help.
I’m still running – not very often, not very far and not very fast – but I’m still doing it. And I’m proud of myself. I don’t run in the dark. Or the wind. Or the rain. So quite frankly this, combined with the fact that I’m working more because January is always a busy work month, means that finding a perfect moment to run is fairly difficult in January. But I’ve managed a few runs and I think I’m getting stronger. I’m also loving my piloxing class. It’s indoors so the rubbish January weather can’t spoil it. It’s first thing on Saturday morning which can be tough following a Friday night out. But I’ve started looking forward to the class and getting up at stupid o’clock on a Saturday morning is not feeling like a chore. I’ve started to notice small changes in my body that make the effort worth while. I think I’m starting to feel that exercise “buzz” that I always thought was a myth! Exercise helps clear my head – mainly because the only thing I can think about is putting one foot in front of the other and getting through it.
Most of my posts don’t make it out of draft. Many get deleted within hours of being written. But that doesn’t matter because the writing process is cathartic for me – it doesn’t matter if I’m the only person to read it!
Counting my blessings
So many of my friends have real problems. They are dealing with loss, anxiety, depression, illness. A few times this month I looked up from my own dark thoughts and saw their pain. I really have nothing to be sad about. I have no right. I have no reason. I got a grip. I’ve signed up to 2 charity events in the hope that raising money might help someone somewhere. Just a little.
I’m so lucky to have a lot of girl friends. And I appreciate each and every one of them – but especially so in January. Meals out and drinks at the pub always make me smile. Catching up with my besties over a glass or two of fizz is one of my favorite things. The best night out in January was a girls night out to the Rocky Horror Show to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Against my better judgement I was persuaded to dress up in character. I’m no fan of dressing up. And have you seen the Rocky Horror costumes???? The thought of donning a corset and fishnets and venturing out in public left me cold. I stressed about my outfit through most of January. I was way outside my comfort zone. Gin helped me get ready that night. Gin enabled me to set foot outside my front door. But it was so worth it. I laughed hard, sang loudly and was proud I’d made the effort to dress up. And grateful that my mates made me do it!
Anyway the good news is that January is pretty much done with. I’m celebrating by spending the first day of February at a spa. With the girls, of course!